Tuesday, August 21, 2007

The perils of wearing PJ's

So I am under no illusion, that I am becoming a dumb blonde!!! Or at least a severely accident prone one!!

As per usual, I overslept this morning (what is it about winter that makes it completely impossible to get up on time??!!). Anyway, in my rush to get out of bed and turn on the light, I somehow manage to get my right leg totally caught up in my left PJ leg!! There is a momentary split second of mad hopping around the room, before I go arse over tit and fall over, putting my left hand out to catch myself!!

All of a sudden, I'm seeing stars and a few choice words are being ushered from my mouth, as I get a shooting pain in my hand!! I manage to extract my leg and myself from the floor, and hobble into the bathroom.

After a shower, my wrist is still fricking aching, so I get my housemate to tie a bandage around it (it was actually more for the fact that I am at this point very late for work, again, and think rolling up with a banadged wrist, might at least get me some sympathy, rather than a bollocking for being late!).

So off I head to work, arriving 30 mins late, but getting the sympathy vote!! lol

During the course of the day however, my wrist and more than that, my elbow and arm, start really throbbing. Copious amounts of panadol do nothing to alleviate this, and so I decide at the end of the day to get a lift to A&E. After being checked in by the male nurse, who clearly thinks I am a hypocondriac, and then sitting there for a few hours, and a few hundred x-rays later, I am ushered in to see the doc.

Adonis doesn't do him justice!! He was totally fricking hot, and there am I clearly imagining having my wicked way with him, rather than listening to my diagnosis.

It therefore goes completely over my head when he tells me that I not only have badly sprained my wrist - and my big toe!! - but that I have also fractured my elbow!!! I am brought back from my rather graphic daydream, when I realise that he's waiting for some kind of response from me!! I then look slightly foolish when he has to run over the main details again, and my reaction is "WTF!!! - I've broken something?" and he looks slightly bemused by it all!

OK so if you saw this guy you'd understand completely!! lol

So anyway the upshot of it all is that I now have my left arm in a sling, am not allowed to snowboard for 6 weeks (i.e. the end of the snow season!!), am signed off from work for the next few weeks (although cos I am a temp it means I don't get paid!!), am majorly panicking on how I'm going to mange to cook my Grandma's birthday dinner for 9 people this sunday, as well as wondering what else I can break that won't hurt that much so I can go chat up the hot doc again!!! lol

And yes I am a fully fledged twat for tripping over my PJ's!!!

Monday, August 20, 2007

Why I won't end up marrying a kiwi guy!!

Why I won’t end up marrying a kiwi guy:
  • They are all short (and I’m not that tall!!)
  • They have a totally warped and so not funny sense of humour
  • They do not understand sarcasm in the slightest!
  • They have completely annoying voices!!
  • They think they are shit hot when clearly they are not!
  • They think they are the world’s best lovers – and clearly don’t realize when you’re totally faking it!!
  • They have no concept of what romance is.
  • They are totally incapable of expressing their feelings or thoughts on anything let alone you!
  • They are completely immature and high maintenance!
  • They are cheating wankers – who either have wives, fiancĂ©es, girlfriends or 100 kids at home!!
  • They have no grasp of the English language – either appalling spellers or write in text speak all the time – or both!!
  • They try and come onto your best friend by email on an internet dating site and then act surprised when she tells me and is confronted about being a total shit!!

OK so in fairness there may be some guys who are none of the above - But I haven’t found them yet!! Every single guy that I have been out with since getting here has been one or several of the above!! Man I miss the Brits/Yanks/Canadians!!

So if anyone knows of or has any suggestions on places to find decent guys in Christchurch – answers on a postcard please!!! lol

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Observations on life and questions about it

So I'm standing in the queue in subway (the sandwich shop) yesterday waiting to get lunch. I am one of the 2 girls in there and the other 15 people are all guys - I'm casually looking around when I realise that I am the tallest person in the shop by about a foot!! Granted I had heels on but they weren't that high!! So the rumour that all kiwi guys are 6 foot 6 inch rugby giants, built like brick shit houses is in fact a myth!! - well the ones that are like that are currently on their way to France to play in the world cup!!! lol - How has NZ become a nation of short people???

By walking to work everyday for a week, you really can get your now reduced slightly in size arse into the trousers that you bought last week, that didn't fit, but were cheap and cute!!

Is one of my thighs bigger than the other - or have the new trousers been made with uneven legs???

Why do you get such a bad headache from wine???

Why in the hell would anyone consume SHEEP DIP as a way of getting high???!!! Seriously WTF!!! How in the fuck were party pills allowed to be legal for so long!?????!!

So have come up with an ingenious new money making, thought provoking, mind stimulating idea that will keep me amused for the next few months at least - but why can I not find my camera charger which is the most important thing I need????!!!

Why is it when you've been waiting to sort out a proper job, you get offered one, that you then decide you don't like???

Do you think that you get more than one chance at love at first sight - or once it's happened it'll never happen again??? And why is mine getting married soon??? (And not to me I might add!!)

Why is the weather always gorgeous outside when you're lying in bed with a hangover??? And you know it's gonna be crap tomorrow!! Murphy's law!!

People in Christchurch have got to be the most unfriendly in the world!! You head out for a night into town, and god forbid that you actually start a conversation with anyone!! So last night I'm at this club called Base and this guy walks up to me and starts chatting. He seems pleasant enough and not off his face on E so I chat back. He then asks if I went to this school here and I say no - at which point he abruptly stops talking and walks away!! It's like some sort of twatty exclusive club - what school did you go to, who do you know - if you can't answer either then you have no hope in hell of ever infiltrating the chch scene at all!! Hence why I have been hanging out with the foreigners or out of towners!! I think they are experiencing the same thing!! Still must infiltrate more before birthday - otherwise will be truly shite and may leading to suicidal tendencies!!

How does anyone think it's ok to turn up to a friends work party, eat the free food and drink, and then piss off cos they've had a better offer (and leave the person there to answer awkward questions on the friends disappearance!!), and think that it's ok!! And then wonder why the person is fucked off with them!!! And it's not cos the person is annoyed that they went on a date, but because what they did was fucking rude, and if anyone else had done it they would be pissed off too!!! Oh and then not to apologise either!!! Meh - people need to learn manners in this country!!

Why, when you're trying to avoid someone, do they pop up everywhere in town???? I think, ladies and gentlemen, I may have got myself a stalker!! (And why did I ever give him my cell phone number??? Mel- please send me that phone ASAP as need to get a new number!!!)

Why do guys think it's ok to ask you out on a date, and then text you to tell you about the one that they are currently on - with someone else!!! Or maybe it should be - why are army guys such dickheads!!!????

Why do the stamps from nightclubs never come off your arm, even after having a shower, and then you discover you had your cheek/forehead resting on it during the night and now the stamp has been imprinted on there too!!! Grrrrr

Why is there never any food in the house when you have a hangover and need it desperately!! Please universe send someone over to take me shopping or to Maccy D's!!!